Diary of a Celebrant - “Could You Be Any More Married?” – The Joey Tribbiani Lesson in Wedding Officiating.
- Elizabeth Reece
- Oct 7
- 6 min read
What happens when the only thing your officiant is prepared for is a sandwich? Consider hiring a Celebrant who majors in these 8 P’s, not just minors!
Joey officiated not one but two weddings for his friends.
Immense comedy value for a sitcom but let’s look at how he came to accept the role and all the ways he $uc&ed it up! Starting a trend that shows no sign of fading so we ask, are the rewards worth the risks?
He was a daytime TV actor, therefore, we are led to believe somewhat qualified for the role by claiming he would not be afflicted by nerves. Egged on by Phoebe, whose ‘friend’ had a certificate from the internet. So, we immediately forget that Joey is a terrible actor who always fluffed his lines, was constantly late and bless him, often let his over inflated opinion of himself ruin his opportunities.
Let’s consider this objectively.
Your friends might compliment your cooking but this does not mean you are ready for an eleven hour shift in a professional kitchen!
Believe me, this I know. I pivoted accidentally from a competent cook and dinner party host to a Lead Chef within six months. This kind of success (if you can call it that - I call it a happy accident) is entirely down to the decades of strategic planning, relationship management, timing and skill that I didn’t know I had in that context. The worst thing that could have happened is that I slowed the team down and they would have had to pick up the slack of my incompetence. And my career as a chef would have been over. No harm, no foul.
But we are taking about your wedding!
Immortalized in photos and videos forever. Seared into your memories. A chef has a team. A Celebrant represents the team - solo!
It is highly unlikely that your chosen friend or family member will turn your proceedings into a farce. Arriving late, wearing a clown suit, forgetting their lines, missing out huge chunks of important text or stepping on the toes of the Best Man by revealing wildly inappropriate personal stories.
· And yet, many Brides & Grooms take that risk. Why? Cost saving – A Professional Celebrant is the smallest single outlay of any wedding budget, yet involves hours and days of preparation, months in advance.
· A more ‘personal experience.’ My best friend is brilliant with numbers but would I let her do my tax return? Your volunteer or chosen person looks, on paper to have all the criteria ticked off. Confident, well presented, organised, reliable, great sense of humour and boy, do you love them!
Visit these weddings and decide for yourself!
So, what does this really mean and why Celebrants get paid as Professionals for what could be done for free:
The 8 P’s of Pro Officiating: Why Professional Officiants Are Priceless.
Friends are for Life; your Ceremony is forever. Invest in the poise, personalisation and presence it and you deserve.
1. Public Speaking
A friend's greatest hurdle isn't their love for you, it is often their lack of experience standing before a crowd. An amateur officiant, however well-intended, may mumble, rush their lines, fidget, or freeze up, causing palpable distraction and awkwardness for the entire ceremony.
This is where a professional shines. A celebrant is a skilled public speaker who uses vocal training, clear projection, and practiced intonation. They know precisely how to engage the crowd, use strategic silences for emotional impact and deliver a polished, confident performance that elevates the moment. The result is a ceremony delivered with gravitas and warmth, where every guest can clearly hear and understand every word, keeping the focus solely on your love story.
2. Preparation
When a friend officiates, their "preparation" often means writing a generic speech the night before. This introduces a major risk of overlooking critical logistical details, missing essential legal phrases, or crafting a script that simply doesn't flow.
A celebrant's preparation, however, is a structured process. It involves detailed consultations, multiple script drafts, cross-checking legal requirements, and coordinating script-specific cues with musicians or readers. They leave absolutely nothing to chance. This rigorous approach ensures your ceremony is both legally sound and emotionally tailored, flowing seamlessly from beginning to end with a purposeful, polished structure that's been finalized long before the wedding day.
3. Project Management
A wedding ceremony is a live event that requires skillful orchestration, involving sound systems, readers, musicians and a venue staff. An amateur lacks the crucial project management skills to coordinate these moving parts, which inevitably leads to awkward silences, missed cues, or technical mishaps.
A professional celebrant takes charge of the ceremony run-sheet. They coordinate all the necessary cues, check the microphone setup, manage the processional timing and silently direct participants, ensuring everyone knows when and where to be. The outcome is a wedding that runs on time and without a hitch, feeling calm and controlled so you, the couple, can simply focus on the joy of getting married.
4. Presentation
You've spent months perfecting the aesthetic of your wedding, but all that elegance can be undermined by poor officiant presentation. An amateur might use notes scrawled on a napkin, hold a crumpled piece of paper, or stare down at their phone for cues.
A professional ensures their presentation matches the beauty of your day. They use discreet, clean and often digital script holders; dress appropriately; and stand with good posture, consciously avoiding visual distractions. This commitment ensures your ceremony is as visually polished as it is emotionally moving, providing photographers with beautiful, clean images free from unprofessional distractions.
5. Pacing
Anxiety is the enemy of emotional impact. Under pressure, friends often speed through readings, rush the vows, or talk without pause, inadvertently stripping the ceremony of its meaning. The crucial moments flash by, leaving everyone feeling breathless.
A skilled celebrant controls the pacing with practiced precision. They know when to pause for genuine laughter, when to hold a moment for emotion, and how to slow the delivery for maximum impact, drawing guests deeply into the experience. The desired outcome is a ceremony that feels unrushed, meaningful, and emotionally rich, allowing you to savor every word and making the entire experience deeply memorable.
6. Poise
If the unexpected happens—a lost ring, a sudden downpour, or a microphone malfunction—a friend often loses their composure. Their resulting panic amplifies the problem, causing collective anxiety among the guests.
A professional celebrant maintains unwavering poise. They have contingency plans and the training to quickly and calmly address unexpected issues, often without the guests even noticing a problem has occurred. Their calm leadership ensures a seamless recovery from any minor disaster, guaranteeing the mood remains joyous and focused on the couple, regardless of external factors.
7. Personalization
While well-intended, a friend's contribution can often become a reflection of their relationship with you, possibly including embarrassing anecdotes or generic advice that misses the unique core of your partnership.
A celebrant, conversely, champions personalization. They use specialized interview techniques to capture your specific voice, values, and vision, crafting a truly bespoke narrative that reflects your shared history and hopes. The result is a ceremony that feels intimately authentic and deeply reflective of your true story, engaging guests with unique details that make them feel like they're witnessing a one-of-a-kind declaration of love.
8. Presence
The goal of the ceremony is to focus entirely on the couple. However, a friend's amateur presence can distract from this. They are often emotionally invested, causing them to cry, giggle, or look awkward, inadvertently drawing attention away from the couple during the most sacred part of the day.
A celebrant, by contrast, has the presence of a composed, authoritative guide. They serve as the calm anchor of the ceremony, subtly using body language and eye contact to direct the energy and focus back to the two people getting married. Their professional conduct ensures the couple is the undisputed centre of attention throughout the vows and pronouncement.
If you have read this far, I will finish on a personal note. Why I do this job, aside from it being an obvious transition for a Coach, Consultant, Project Manager and Writer who saw a way to integrate all my skills into one beautiful role.
Love is a powerful emotion.
Life is a challenging experience of emotional mastery. Love is complex. If you knew my story, it would be easy to think that I would be justified in deprioritising love as an ongoing pursuit. Nonetheless, I have never stopped believing in the powerful energy that love brings, in all its forms. The best way I can think of to show it to myself and to others is to do this job.
Let’s talk if you are planning your ceremony in the Southwest of France during 2026/27.
Let’s begin the preparation so you can relax, be present and simply absorb the joy of your perfectly orchestrated, unforgettable ceremony.
Your love deserves a standing ovation, not just a chuckle!
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