Finding Meaning in the Folds of a Napkin

Meaning creates Intention. With intention comes Motivation. (Try the exercise at the end if you know its the little practices that make the big differences. Little and often - Reps before Wreckage!)

The young man next to me was angry!

It swirled around him. Emanating from every pore and punctuating every sentence silently spoken.

I stood and forlornly surveyed the mountain of freshly laundered linen napkins and guesstimated at least two hours of folding in my future.

There is more history and meaning to napkins than you might think!

It was 2021 and I had conceded that earning money to pay my bills as we bounced in and out of Lockdowns was my priority. Regressing to the jobs in Hospitality that I had enjoyed as a student in my early twenties felt very different after a corporate career. I was a student again. This time, a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology & Coaching Psychology, so I chose to view each painful eleven-hour shift in this torturous venue as critical ‘research’ in organisational human behaviour.

I wasn’t unfamiliar with this kind of anger. There were times I had plastered on a smile and tried to walk into my bosses office, only to find myself wordlessly backing out of the door, met with an energetic wall of seething, writhing resentment. My body was telling me in no uncertain terms, not to enter. It was not safe to do so.

I was noticing the same patterns in hospitality that I had seen in Corporate. I would greet my boss in the customary way each morning. Day after weary day, to be ignored. Like a returning general from a pointless war, I was the lowly surf, forced out into the street to wave and cheer his arrival.

The space in my head is precious and I had learnt much about protecting my peace.

The young man stood next to me, furiously folding. Grumbling and moaning. Was this a teachable moment, I wondered? Maybe it was my lesson to learn today.

It wasn’t long before he disappeared. Leaving the task to me. His ego, too big and too flawed for such menial tasks. I expected he would return once the job was done and take credit for a pleasing outcome. Another strategy I was all too familiar with from my corporate world.

What joy was to be found in napkin folding, I wondered?

The vast history of napkin folding. Who knew?

I had seen behind the venues curtain. The screaming chefs, the tears of the waiting staff and the abuse of the agency workers, like me, who despite showing up and working like any other permanent member of staff, were denied coffee, water and a staff meal. A half hour break in an eleven-hour shift with nowhere to rest or reset – it was a marathon of fortitude and endurance.

Just as abusive as the Corporate environment I had left behind, I had better tools now and deliberately sought out ways to make the experience easier both for myself and my fellow surfs.

It was in this venue I was offered a new perspective on ‘acts of service.’ My ‘love language.’

Also, a deeper practice of the principle of ‘Just for Today, I will do a good deed and not get found out. If anyone hears of it, it will not count.’ (AA Just for Today Card)

That pile of napkins was not going to fold itself and I had two hours to complete the task alone.

I began to wonder what happens to the energy that my colleague was using to fold his napkins. I wondered too, about the energy that was being expended in the creation of the delicious looking plates of food that were to be placed in front of the never-ending stream of demanding diners at this high-end Covent Garden Brasserie. I thought of thousands of meals I had enjoyed over decades in London and questioned how many had been prepared and served with intentional positive emotion?

I had been consuming anger, fear and frustration without a second thought.

My career was all about the creation of high-performance work environments. I was always uncomfortable that I had the freedom to come and go as I pleased while others were shackled to desks.

Profit and productivity over people and purpose. Despite the storytelling, I knew the truth.

We are served the lie and we consume it, gratefully.

My Everest of napkins required my attention and I could lament my circumstances, bringing my own disappointments and frustrations into my task or I could try something different.

I wanted every single person who touched a napkin to have a wonderful experience in the home that I had chosen for the day. I enjoyed the softness of the fabric. Marveled at how clean and white they were and took pride in folding each one to its perfect specification. I blessed each one with joy.

Two hours felt like minutes as presence and flow took over. The bustle of the restaurant’s pre-service activity fell away and I drifted in my meditative work.

Completing my task, I felt energized, yet strangely serene. Much like making one’s bed each morning, I felt the satisfaction of a job well done that I could be pleased with after a hard day.

Writing this, I reflect that when I decided to claim the option of creating meaning in my work, for myself instead of wasting my energy trying to change someone else’s mind, I created my own breakthrough via this intervention.

We don’t want to wear diamonds or crystals that have been mined by slaves or wear clothes that are made in sweatshops by children.

I don’t want to sit at a desk in a space where I am a numerical cost and a target to be achieved. As much as I don’t want to eat food prepared by people who hate me without ever having met me.

Who doesn’t love returning to another amazing towel animal after a tough day at the beach?

Everything is energy. It is exchanged, it flows and it is everywhere all of the time. Intention is gift or a curse to be bestowed or wielded. Finding personal meaning in each task is our responsibility.

Remember, that you get to choose what meaning you attach to your situation.

Protect, preserve and share but use your precious energy wisely!

Now that we've explored how meaning fuels intention and motivation, let's take a moment to connect with that meaning within your own work. Try this brief 'Mindful Work Intention Setting' exercise...

This exercise provides a practical and actionable way for readers to experience the connection between meaning, intention, and motivation firsthand.

Mindful Work Intention Setting

(Time: 5-7 minutes)

Purpose: To connect with the deeper meaning in your work and consciously set intentions aligned with your values and purpose, fostering greater motivation.

Instructions:

1. Find a Comfortable Posture: Sit comfortably in your chair or stand with your feet firmly on the ground. Allow your body to relax, but maintain an upright and alert posture. You can close your eyes gently or lower your gaze.

2. Brief Body Scan (1 minute): Bring your awareness to your physical sensations. Notice the feeling of your body in contact with the chair or the ground. Observe any areas of tension or relaxation without judgment. Just notice.

3. Reflect on Meaning (2 minutes): Gently bring to mind the work you do. Consider these questions silently:

   • What aspects of my work feel most meaningful or purposeful to me?

   • How does my work, in some way, contribute to something larger than myself (even in small ways)?

   • What values are reflected in the work I do (e.g., creativity, helping others, problem-solving, learning)?

4. Set an Intention (2 minutes): Now, focusing on the meaning you identified, formulate a clear and positive intention for your work today (or for the upcoming work period). This intention should be aligned with your values and the impact you want to create. Examples:

   • "Today, I intend to approach my work with a focus on [your value, e.g., creativity] and bring fresh ideas to [a specific task]."

   • "My intention is to connect with [colleague/client] with [your value, e.g., empathy] and understand their needs deeply."

   • "I intend to contribute to [larger goal] today by focusing on [a specific task] with [your value, e.g., diligence]."

5. Mindful Breathing and Anchoring (1 minute): Bring your attention to your breath. Notice the natural rhythm of your inhales and exhales. With each inhale, gently bring your chosen intention to mind. With each exhale, release any distractions or resistance. Let your breath anchor you in this present moment and your intention.

6. Concluding Awareness: Take a few more gentle breaths. When you feel ready, slowly open your eyes (if closed) and carry this sense of intention and connection with you as you move into your work.

Positive Psychology Connection:

• Meaning and Purpose (Viktor Frankl, Positive Psychology): This exercise directly encourages reflection on the "why" behind the work, tapping into the human need for meaning and purpose, a core tenet of positive psychology.

• Values Identification (Values in Action - VIA Character Strengths): By prompting reflection on values reflected in work, the exercise implicitly connects to the concept of living in alignment with one's core values, which is linked to greater well-being and engagement.

• Intention Setting (Goal Setting Theory): Consciously setting intentions, especially those aligned with meaning, can enhance focus, direct effort, and increase motivation, consistent with goal-setting research.

• Mindfulness (Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction): The brief mindfulness elements (body scan, breath awareness) help to ground the individual in the present moment, reducing distractions and fostering a state of focused awareness conducive to intention setting.